I was flicking through some listings and came across one which immediately caught my eye as I have been following Karl Bushby’s around the world trek in unbroken footsteps - his expedition is called The Goliath Expedition and is 36,000 miles on foot.

The job I saw was for two writers to accompany an expedition to navigate the Kolyama River in Siberia starting in October for six months - in comparison this is a walk in the park.  I thought that it would be a bloody cold assignment and keybashing with frostbite an occupational hazard … and I was right.

The ad states that temperatures will be in the range of -30 degrees C - in other words if you took a pee outside it would be frozen before it hit the ground.  Still being of an adventurous bent I considered sending in my resume and writing to see what transpired.  I’m fit and active, ex Para with Arctic experience and a Russian speaker so why not?

Last night I had a dream and a sudden realisation of a time 25 years ago while sleeping rough on an exercise in Norway - I woke up with an icicle formed on the end of my nose from dripping snot, and it was so cold we had to double up in the sleeping bags to share bodily warmth.  My erstwhile sleeping partner decided to perform his ablutions in the middle of this, only to return with a dirty bum that left an indelible mark …. on me!

Halcyon days have long gone I suspect and in the refreshingly warm light of day, I have decided that if I am going to spend six months away on an assignment it is going to involve tropical seas, warm climate, hot and cold running water and girls, with an endlessly stocked mini bar and room service.

For the young turks amongst you who are interested in six months in Siberia you can find the job information here - it will be a once in a lifetime experience I can assure you

Bookmark, Share or Email this article